Obligations
One dear life and thousands of obligations on the poor soul. I don’t think it’s a fair game.
It would be so nice if the people around us could stop telling us how we should live OUR OWN life. Can something that works for one, be applied in general to all when we so nastily claim that we are separate individuals? I think NOT.
In today’s world, instead of opposing we have accepted these obligations as a part of our life even when they irk us the most:
Have got mail, must reply
Have friends, must call all the time
Have a festival, must get religious
Have relatives, must be nice
Have received a favour, must be returned
Have got invite, must accept
I will stop at this as the list is too long and I am sure the above captures the gist of the feeling. We carry these obligations around with us like our appendix – absolutely good for nothing. Someday the crap accumulation will increase to an unendurable level and the removal of the inflamed appendix will be mandatory. That will be a great day for sure.
Sometimes I think William Shakespeare should be re-quoted to say
“All the world's an intrusion, And all the men and women merely cribbers”
posted by Vinitha at 3:22 PM
12 Comments:
Was reading your "chasing the wrong dream" post of yours. Thank you.
And now, you have returned the favour in a big way.
Thanks again.
Hi Maami,
I didn't know you had started to blog again until the good ol' poet mentioned. I have some thoughts on what you have posted. You say obligation, I say choice. And add a little more to it. I'd ideally want to rephrase the entire post, but, I'll just take a sample. you'll get the idea.
Have got mail - must reply.
no, a choice to reply. but, if the choice is no, please don't feel guilty about it and carry "not replied to the mail" thought with you all the way to work, dinner, park, blah. If that is done, yes, appendix as you have detailed will happen.
So, modified would be: choose and don't feel guilty for what you have selected. Obligation is the force that binds and forces one to do something. I don't see it as obligations, but I see them as choices.
I remember you posting about it sometime in your blog. here: http://theothersideofmoi.blogspot.com/2007/03/life-is-all-about-choices.html
Because Seher chose the red, it did not make Seher Seher. Same holds good for Smaysha(aside thought: what a name!)
And on the intrusion, me thinks, irrespective of the intrusion, a cribber is a cribber. a cribber falls prey to the force and is accustomed to doing it against, choosing not to do it at all!
My two cents.
Hi Sri,
comeon.. no need for thanks n all.. just the post of CFO would do :)
Hi Vishnu,
I still dont agree its a matter of choice.Choice cannot be applied at a generic level for all instances.
The senders acceptance of our stand "not to reply" matters a great deal for us to even have a choice.
The constant nagging, poking in public, reminders to reply, emotional blackmail and a lot more crap hardly make it a matter of choice.
CFO's is a rotating chair which you could hold(bollywood istyle) anytime you choose.
Hmm.. Interesting. I'd like to take this further. I hope you're okay with it.
What I hear you saying is "I'd like to be there, but, I don't like to be there".
That is, I'm willing to be there but on only my terms. I'd like to reach and touch only when I need. When others need me I take a "stand" not to respond. Pushed a little more, I see it as a reminder to reply. When dissatisfaction is expressed one on one, it is nagging and when it is done in the presence of more people I feel it is poking in public. Is it because I don't like it when someone talks about things which I don't like doing? says things that I don't like to hear even if it is the truth? A machine doesn't complain, nag or poke, why should these people do!
Hey Sri,
Sounds cool. Reminds me of a scene from the movie Baazigar with SRK and the rotating chair :)
vishnu -
If I reach and touch anyone when I need, I will be available for them anytime they need me. Not because I feel it as an obligation or duty to respond to the favour they did to me. But because I would have had that kind of a relationship with the person. A true friendship with no strings attached. And these are not the people who nag and poke as they are the ones who are understanding and don’t bring in the selfish aspect. These relations are not thirsty for courtesy mails asking “how are u, hope fine”, they are not dependent on how many times a month we meet, how many times a month we call. Its not easy to find these relations, most people never experience it in their whole life, and some people don’t even know these exist. Since these relations are not on conditions, there are no obligations and the post is not intended for them. I have few of these and they are all I truly care about.
Then there is the other section of people. The so called enforced friends. In a society where we walk around in groups they are the appendix. Basically they are the jobless lonely folks who have never experienced any true feeling or ever had a good friend. They crave for public attention and need constant reassuring about how much people care about them. They are the kinds who keep mailing social courtesy’s and expect people to respond just to fill in their inbox and have the inner sense of being important. These are the kinds who need to constantly call people and narrate their entire day in an attempt that people might find it thrilling and think high of them. These are the kind who live in constant fear that they will die alone and no one will be a witness to their lives. If these guys are in need of genuine help and reach to me for that I will surely lend a helping hand. These are the people who bring in the OBLIGATION part into relations and make it a pain. These are the people who nag and poke. These are the people who force others to have a relation with them. These are the people who turn a blind eye even when the person in front is clearly displaying a message of non-interest. And these are the people I don’t care about.
Right. That clarifies the post. Thanks, you took efforts to do the same.
So, I take it that "when i don't care about it (/them) there ceases an appendix"
You have just given me an idea for a blogpost.
However, I do think the following lines are "killer lines"
"These are the kinds who need to constantly call people and narrate their entire day in an attempt that people might find it thrilling .... the kind who live in constant fear that they will die alone and no one will be a witness to their lives"
I'm reminded of The Beatles classic "Eleanor Rigby", which showcases profiles of people who are lonely.
i am glad u get the point..
@Vinitha, the Baazigar scene was exactly what I had in mind when I put that. I don't remember that Company's name though...I have a strange feeling that you would know. :)
Hey Sri,
Ur strange feeling is perfect :) it was the "Chopra Empire" that SRK wanted ..
You bet...:)
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